FUCK ME IT'S HOT, DO THEY PLAY FOOTBALL IN HELL?

At the moment at TBT HQ, it's 1 mirrion 40 odd degrees centigrade.
It's at times like these that thoughts turn to the inevitable apocalypse end of the fucking world. One starts to wonder, when it all ends, will we get to watch football in hell?

It's fair to assume that Peter Ridsdale would be chairman of Hades FC, having recently assumed ownership of the club after Ken Bates picked it clean following allegations of misappropriation of funds.

Ridsdale would make a public address appealing for calm declaring the club had every intention of reclaiming the respect of the fans and keeping the sponsors happy (comprising a tobacco company and a milk company).

Following his PR disaster opportunity, Ridsdale would go on to waste 6 million euro-dollar-yen-pounds on tropical fish (for the second time), as opposed to investing in a half-decent central defender with at least one good foot. Ridsdale would then plumb for a series of inspirational creative-minded teamleaders including David Koresh and this bird.

Japp Stam would have a home in the heart of defence eating live babies. Terry Venables would be Ridsdale's first choice as Manager. Terry would proudly lead his side to the dizzying heights of midtable obscurity, enforcing a strict 'fuck-it-long' game plan whereby Stam would hack the ball up the pitch to the waiting open arms of that cheating fucking Frenchman Thierry Henry. Henry would play a free floating role behind Con Boutsianis complete with balaclava.

The question remains? Who in their right mind would buy a season ticket to Hades FC ?
Would you?
More importantly, why would you turn up for the derby when this guy is the star player for the opposition, at every fucking sport?

Contains at least 79% Football, 29% Truth